Dear World, go to hell

go away

Someone told me today they would like to jump off a cliff.

When I asked why they told me: maybe someone will catch them in time.

It sounded like something I would have agreed to.

Long ago.

I had to respond:

“I gave up on that a long time ago…

if we jump blindly hoping for a savior, whether a soul mate, a best friend or just a kind hearted helper, we will end up a lifeless pile of meat beneath the cliff. The people may come then, just to judge us for being so stupid.”

So dear world, go to hell.

(Don’t make a judgment, read “he will come” maybe you could understand the equilibrium, equation the “secret recipe”.)

(if you do kindly inform me, coz i got no clue.

thank you.)

Bathrooms should be soundproof

 

Really.

Need I say more?

If I am going to hear the graphic sounds coming out of an urgently needed stall, then I might as well see what is going on inside. I do not prefer to leave the visual that goes with the sounds to my imagination.

Thank you very much.

My first real SUSHI experience

 

Yesterday was a break through.
I ate Sushi. I actually took the initiative, ordered for myself, and ate it!!!! (mixed the soy with the green stuff too, with caretakers ofcourse telling me STOP too much whatchamacallit) wassabi was it?

I didn’t throw up and I wasn’t forced into it.

Just thought it was worth saying.

Usually when you try something new, it is always safer to ask the experts of the task, or the service providers (can you tell I just got out of a coporate meeting?), but for some reason this time I decided to look at the pictures and descriptions of the SUSHI and take my pick independantly.

Needless to say, the Sushi picture menu is one of the most colorful adventerous little booklets I have EVER seen in my life, and I used to work as a teacher once upon a time (many many coloring books, text books and simply ill written but well drawn homework assignments !

I chose a pretty little square thing which looked fried with a very familiar shrimp ala tooth pick on top.

Don’t remember its name, but it was one of the sushi’s u order by a “one” not 6 or 4 or 8.

Eru? Iri? Iru?

Next time I will take a picture. Not a mental picture. A real picture.

As much as i enjoyed the diversity and the luxury of mixing and matching from single order sushis, I decided I must go closer to the safe side than the fun loving adventurous side I am well known for.

I asked the waiter about this particular order which comes in 8s. I decided again, to go for my trusted shrimp, with rice ofcourse (looking like a roll) and avocado.

Shrimp, I like.

Rice, I like.

Avocado, I likey like.

So it was that.

I ordered my 10 little pieces of sushi and waited anxosioly for my order to arrive.

The waiter caught my eye from across the room.

I smiled at him.

He smiled at me. No, it was not a mutual attraction (silly you!), we were both exited about the moment the first piece enters my mouth, and I savour my first ever taste of “THE SUSHI”.

He placed the pretty set plate infront of me. He stood there for a second, but as if he just remembered he can’t just stand there and watch for my reaction, he stationed himself strategically far but in range.

I saw the chopsticks and started thinking.. oh shoot..

Then i saw something that warmed my heart. The waiter has provided me with chopsticks tied at the top. Like a begginers third wheel on a children’s bike.

I took it (seemingly ofcourse quite professional) and picked up (elegantly) my first roll, then I put it down.

I did the soy with the green wassabi (am hoping that is what it’s called).

I picked up my roll again and slightly dipped it in the spicy soy.

As I dipped, I asked a question “do I bite a piece of, or do I swallow it whole?”

Simoltaneously, all the sushi eaters at the table chanted “Swallow”.

I put it in my mouth. I let it slip from the wood utensils.

I am in love.

Sushi’s Da man.

Thank you very much.

Things to do when you are REALLY bored, and REALLY lazy

Criteria of qualification:

- In bed

- A.C. on

- Satellite on to any lame show

- Laptop of BB or Iphone or whatever cyber surfing machinery

1- Google your name

2- Google your ex’s names

3- Create a fake facebook account and start harrasing your friends online

4- Create a fake facebook account and start stalking yourself on facebook. (Make sure if you are using this suggestion to be an exotic rich stranger)

5- Register yourself on Wikipedia (or Wikiname which is easier) as a prodigy hotstuff exotic politician

6- Search for your wierd name definition on urbandictionary.com

7- Start a blog

8- Invent a new language

9- Start a blog called “am bored and lazy at home, what should i do”

10- Read “negotiation and mind control for dummies”, then convince a family member to give you a massage then cook you an elaborate dinner

11- Find irrelevant mistakes on the channel or show you are watching and email channel executives with these mistakes. An email at a time.

12- Choose your favorite curse word and translate it into every language

13- Make up a new curse word

14- Read my blog and comment

Beautiful things

Truly Angelic

(sound track of THIS post, i.e: kindly click on the link above, and listen as you read)

1- A perfectly colored nail

2- “Give me money please” starts of the conversation between me and the little unhealthy toothed blonde girl begging in the street, leading to “i like school but my family doesn’t  have money for it”, ending with and unhealthy toothed wide smile and a small handed wave goodbye “i will see you tomorrow, right?”.

3- The pimple on my friends face reminding me that she is so much younger than I am, and still we have found in eachother a common place to interact.

4- The troubled face of an new friend (bride to be); the mouth tensed, the forehead wrinkled, the eyes looking for a perspective answer in mine.

5- The cute MUCH younger passerby giving me an appreciative – and much appreciated- glance of admiration.

6- The fresh breeze of air brushing through my hair in a humid night, the exact moment before I start to break a sweat.

7- The tiny fingers on the tiny hand of the tiny human to be in his mother’s arms walking beside her loving husband.

8- The number of hits I received yesterday on my blog.

9- The fact I am amazed this number of people have taken out of their time to click, enter and read my simple contribution to the cyber world.

10- The fact that those people, who are translated as a statistic to me, are a reason why I will try harder to add to my blog daily, not just when i am “inspired”.

11- That I am still awake until this late hour knowing I am not obliged to be the early bird.

12- The fact that I will be the early bird, not because I am obliged, but because I want to.

13- The fact that I will wake up tomorrow, if I wake up, to a lovely new day full of possibilities and opportunities

14- The beautiful musical composition I am listening to at the moment.

15- The fact that I have been listening to it on loop for a whole hour without feeling bored.

16- The fact I am no longer the restless easily bored spoiled princess I used to be.

17- The fact that I AM a princess, disregarding the spoiled attributes that title may be associated with.

18- The fact that this list can go on for pages and pages.

19- The glass of milk I just gulped down.

20- The 12 friends I met today.

21- Life.

22- The world.

23-  The fact that I can find all this beautiful.

Be nice to the nerds

Everyone made fun, bullied and terrorized her.

She was  a sitting duck. She was not noticeable by any means.

She watched them, wondering, how it would feel like to be so loved, so free, so wanted.

She knew she will be happy, content and satisfied one day. But it was not today.

She silently craved to have a life. Any life.

But it was ok. She was ok. She would wait.

She would wait out the bad weather. As she cried sometimes herself to sleep. Her helpless silent dis-contempt to their judgement, lies and abuse.

She held on to one or two who treated her as a living being. One that really counts. One they would miss. One they would actually take a picture of. Why would they take a picture of her? She was not very “picture friendly”.

Those one or two, plus her dreams were her fuel. Even long after those one or two were long gone. Until now, they are her fuel, her benchmark. Those one or two and her dreams.

Thank you.

Be nice to the nerds please. They may turn out like me.

3ando.

He will come

I had a dream.

(I usually have amazing, structured high quality dreams).

I had a dream that I was lost in a crowded place, open air, beautiful but ruined by the faceless mob’s presence.

And in the dream I was panicking because I was going to miss my train ride, hence missing the destined gathering which seemed at that time in the dream to be the reason for which I existed.

I ran to and fro, I went through and through the masses. I could not find an exit.

Just as I was going to give up and realize that I will live with all these faceless passengers forever, and might as well make friends with my brief neighbors, some thing caught my eye.

A man with a face.

I didn’t run towards him.

I realized it could be a mental mirage.

He started to come to me.

He kept coming, and unlike a mirage, his face came into focus the closer he got.

He stood in front of me.

He took my hand, and touched my face.

He looked away, kept my hand and led me with him.

I let him lead, of course.

Right across the corner we found a little place to sit and talk and eat and live, the crowd was still there, but the beautiful scenery was more visible, touchable and alive.

guess my heart really DOES belong to daddy…

5/5/2010

Dear Blog,

For many years choosing the right man to be with was always a predicament for the likes of me.

For I was blessed and cursed by a man they can never live up to, you see.

Around and surrounding with comfort, love and tolerance just for me

Always there, even if separated by mountains, land or sea.

Loving him, even if he’s scolding, shouting, scorning, or giving me the third degree

Beautiful regardless of how the world made him be

Alas, no man could come close, however grand his offerings, his dowry

My devotion to his soul is my decree

And however great I may become, with worldly powers, even if I am eighty

I will still gladly and proudly

Be his little baby

Happy Birthday Daddy

it has been six years since we celebrated…

rest in peace my love

If only money would grow on trees

money on trees, please

If money did grow on trees, the circulating currency would be tree leaves.
Let’s think about what we wish for God’s sake!

“You ugly nerd you will never be loved… and you smell bad”

Apathy

What if I leaned out of the car window and shouted at the awkward looking adolescent standing at the corner of the street with his better looking friends:

“You are an ugly nerd, you will never be loved, if I was short fat cross eyed and hairy I would NEVER (extra loud) even look at you, I would rather kill myself than reproducing with you, and guess what, you smell really bad”

I know I would need more than a passing moment in a moving car, and if I stopped I would have heard combinations of obscenities from the creative youth, but the worst part would be:

- Seeing the heartbreaking look of disappointed on the boy’s face, and the shock that all his insecurities are actually true, regardless of what his mother tells him.

- Hearing the insensitive laughs of the prettier boys who have already passed this stage, who even if are best friends with this poor subject of random bullying, are still judgmental bullies at heart.

-  Witnessing the moment when this human embarked on his life long voyage of self pity, insecurity and character demolition.

This fantasy of mine ended with a tear sneaking its way down my cheek.

How harsh can some people be.

How life changing can one word be.

How can one situation can be so pivotal that it can alter the path of one’s life.

I felt so guilty. Even if it was just a “What if” moment.

I decided to shout out random positive comments at strangers in the streets from the car.

Sounds quite crazy, but the people who received the loud random compliments were the hosts of beautiful surprised smiles.

I may go back to look for this teen and kiss him smack on the face and tell him “don’t worry, it will all be over soon, don’t worry, your time will come.”

But I worry if I do that, I will be the witness of the birth of an ego maniac playboy.

So confused.

Get my point?