BlackBerry RIM blackout. The real story that shocked the world.

On just another ordinary day, the citizens of the world went on with their daily activities, working, meeting, eating, sleeping, tweeting and BBming, unsuspecting and innocent, little did they know of the great catastrophe up ahead. “Oh poor souls of the world, the great pain you will endure” whispered fate, or was it Kharma?

Suddenly, and unpredicted, the 70 million BB users of the globe got a simultaneous slap on the face. Of course, when we try to calculate how many people ACTUALLY got affected by this disaster, we cannot just count those who actually own the device. How many of these users are the leaders of a clique? The ones that use one of the hundreds of applications available to decide where to have lunch? How many of these tweet their second to second activities to their followers? Should we sum up the followers of all these users to rightfully measure the exact number of people who will be suing RIM?

Stock markets fluctuated, exasperated, constipated and whatever other adjectives describe a sever drop of assets. The world economy has seen this effect only on very few occasions in it’s history, The World Wars, Iraq invasion, the day Kim Kardashian went blonde, etc…

The world just sounded out a collective gasp, cheerleaders had tantrums, boyfriends cheated as quickly as they could before they got caught (so thankful the D will not turn into an R and ruin their relationships), CEOs had to actually focus in their meetings, and there were numerous cases of aneurysms caused by lack of self expression through statuses and broadcast messages.

The first couple of hours were the hardest.

For the first time in many years, the world came together. They came together in pain, grief and eventually in prayer. By the second day, support groups emerged in every country, crash courses on how to use email through an actual PC, how to send text messages, how to survive.

But the people will be strong. Humanity will prevail. They will not themselves be ruled by the technology they built with their own hands. They will not turn the Matrix trilogy into a reality.

But alas, as the third day cometh, and little did humanity know, that at this same moment in time, this exact second, Steve Jobs is smiling down from heaven, giving RIM the finger.

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